Friday, April 15, 2005

Life still Goes On.....

Thx for all those "Advise" u guys gave me. Its soo "encouraging".. Whether she accept or reject, i dun really care, wad i feel now is, i feel very ease? I jus release a load in my heart. + I dun expect her to be in a relationship wif me, so who cares?

Life still goes on wif me, play eat n slp. Went out to Terence house to pass him something n left later. Went down to Plaza Singapura n walked to Heeren. While walking, i did some reflection. I thought... Even though i enter a relationship wif her, how do i make her happy. Wad should i do? Wad am i suppose to make her happy? How to sustain a relationship.. Then i think of my usual ways... I feel dat.. I shld more be a loneley knight in the dark den be stucked in a relationship. Dats y i let it go. I have already feel dat the rejection is the wad i already expects, so i wun jus go there n cry n sae... "I cant without live without u", or maybe even commit sucide.. And Jen, ur nick really irks me :D .

I meet up wif Yee Ling, who is workin in the 77th Street in Heeren. Haha, she got praised by my friends for being cute. I do have to agree wif dat, since its already a fact.[Hope YeeLing wun read this blog, later she come n kill me]

Went down to Rapid Culture to check out my Gundam Models in Cineileisure. Abyss is out, go get it JH!

Den went down to Toa Payoh to get my Shattered Galaxy Time Code, woohoo go back home chiong SG. One thing i was puzzled is, when i went down to the mrt station, i wanted to go back to Yishun, but i didn notice till i went to Marina Bay dat line when i heard the word Orchard(cos i put my headset on ma), den quickly go out, take the opposite MRT n rush home.

Hmm, i really hope the MnM Nite dinner is successful, so little ppl is going, n not cooperative.. Haiz... Ashen u betta go ok, later i spank ur ass...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Exams r over...

Yipee, exams r over, wad am i suppose to do..
Work? PLay? Camp?
Nah... dat depends....
Kinda stressed lately wif exams, hate Management n Statistics especially, i tink i can fail these 2 subjects. Sub Paper, here i come........

Haha actually i have a motive in updatin this blog, i jus change a whole new look, kinda nice rite? haha Naruto n Sasuke, my 2 cute lil friends...

I wan to confess something ..
There was this gal, i met her during my 1st semester in NYP. During dat period of time, im kinda wild, immature n have very bad impression of other ppl, n judgin them by looks. Kinda regret wad i did, n managed to change for the betta. Im more quiet now, cos i tink noisy isnt a good way to express oneself. Back to topic..
She was one of my classmates, i dunno y, i got attracted to her. It was during August last year... Ever since then, i held my heart for her. Sometimes, i confide wif her, she listen to me, she advise me, we do chat a lot. I do hope time would stop at dat period of time. As im a shy guy, so i usually hide behind my com, talkin to her. Life seems like a fairy tale to me, till the 1st semester exam finish. We didn really talk a lot, n she wasn't up on msn frequently. SOmetimes, i jus wanna wait for her, or jus check msn to c if she is around.

After the holidae is over, we met back in sch again. Haha camps r over, NCC stuffs done, back to study. SOmetimes we do chat, but not as frequently as be4.
There was this incident, when she lost her wallet in the Lecture Hall, which was after Christmas.I remembered, dat was a Thursdae nite... She cried dat nite, cos seems dat she had something important in her wallet(maybe cash?). The next morning, i woke up early in the morning, n then rush back to sch to help her look for her wallet. I dunno y am i doing this dat time, but it seems dat im the only one helping her. I dun wan to be some1 jus caring for her on the phone, but i wan to have this initiative to help her look for it. When she found her wallet, she was so happy. Dat moment, i felt dat my heart has the something right, by havin her in my heart. She smiled wif happiness, n i... also became happy.. After dat incident, we still do chat, but not as often as be4. Durin dat period of time, i tink... I tink shld ask her out? And do i like her? Dat was during the month of January. I asked her if i can ask her out for a dinner and to confess my feelin for her, she said have to c 1st. I waited n waited. At last she told me she cant make it. N also i gave her a limied edition Sasuke cushion(since she said she like it).

After dat, we didn really communicate much. She wasn't up on msn, in sch, wad i tok to her was only on sch work. I hope she understand, dat sometimes, i do feel shy talkin to her, dats y i use schwork to talk to her. Sometimes i have this feelin, am i useless? Y cant i ask her directly?

Months passed, n till the end of the semester, which was todae. I tried to meet her out alone, but somehow she was wif the others. I didn noe dat till i was on the upper lvl of the MRT station. I tot she forgot about this, or maybe she is avoiding. Who noes? I hope she noe this, i may not have another chance to meet her again, todae was the last dae. I wanted to tell u, but u arent there..

Stop guessin who is she already
She is XiangNing. U brighten up my life. U gave me this motivation, to fill my world wif colours... U left me wif happy memories....

I hope ur readin this blog of mine, n at least noe how do i feel for u. I dun wan u to feel pressurized or wad. I wan u to noe, dat i had already held this feelin for almost 9 months. Only u, no others. I dunno if im late or wad, but i cant seem to pluck out this courage to tell u all these times. I have been wantin to tell u this, jus dat, i dun have dat opportunity to tell u. I will wait till one dae, u will accept me. Dats for sure.

By,
The Lonely Knight, Cesario...

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Some Truthful stuffs....

Wad a dae, Wad a nite.
I have been putting a fake smiley face n holding my emotions . Its not easy to hide my emotions, maybee jus cos i act to quiet. Somehow i really dun wan to open out my mouth, fear dat i may offend some1.

Valentine Dae, a hard dae for me. Called her no reply, SMS no reply. Was wondering if my hp has problems or not(or maybe not). Have been wanting to sae this to her, which i felt dat its a heavy burden to my heart. SOmehow i dun dare to face her, nor talk to her, cos i fear she may start to hate me cos of my character. Im a Leo, maybe dats y my character is like dat.

Somehow, i feel dat im jus too kind or maybe too soft. I tend to give way to ppl mostly. I hate to see my dear friends angry, nor sad. Wads worst is dat although i care for them, they do not realise it, and take it for granted. Care is within the heart, so maybe dats y ppl dun realise it. I felt dat, i tink i shld give up, i mean give up her, although i still really like her, i hope time may be my judge to this, dat hopefully, i still tink of her after my poly ends. At least, i dare to face this society dat i really really, love a gal once, truely. I dun wan her to get sandwiched between him, her and i.I dun wan to give her dilemma, getting frustrated for 2 guys, and end up hating both. So i tink i shld give up, in terms of my qualities, and i have no confidence dat i can give her happiness, nor satisfy her needs. I hope dat he read this particular post todae, n realise dat im not a guy wif a f*** character, but some1 who deserve to be appreciated. Thx...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Sian ah..

kaoz! tml is the startin of Semester 2 term 2 le, exams is coming, proj must rush, Chinese New Year oso over le. Time to buck up n do some stuffs be4 its too late. Btw tml is Valentine Dae, hopefully by telling "HER" tml how i feel, maybe i feel betta since i bottled it a long time ago.

Lately i when i was readin HardwareZone Forum, i chance upon this thread which tell horoscope, n coincidently, wad was said to a Leo guy like me was true.

LEO MAN

He likes to comb his hair back ward, open his forehead showing a dignify
facial _expression. His eyes is sparkle, but slightly showing laziness. He
walks firmly and slowly like a lion, confident and ego proud. Outside, you
may think he is kind and gentle person, but inside he is a strong and secure
person. If he is frighten, he will re-act and respond right away. His words
always seem normal but mostly imply "order and demanding". He will not talk
fast, or can not talk fast, neither walk fast. In a crowd or at work he will
act normally, but not for long you will see him standing out of the crowd
and be a center of attention with his words, or his action.

You might think he is a shy guy, but deep down inside he wants to power over
his family and his friends. He just waits for that right moment. Do not take
what is his, and do not order him, or else you will see a fierce lion. He
respects elderly and senior, but will never bow down and accept like a
looser fo r he will rather die than loose his dignity.

He talks bluntly even on an occasion that he should not say such thing. He
is a compassionate guy and always look at other people on a bright side. He
likes people to listen to him. Even he has such a blunt and bold
personality, he could easily reach his goal without making any enemy.

Once disagree with him on something, he can be very up set like a rainy
storm on a summer day. It will only last a short time, then he will be back
a cheery merry person again. He is a bright and witty guy, and he will not
put any efforts on something that he thinks it will not work and waste his
energy. He is a good planner and can well manage his job assigned. When he
gives order, he expect them to be carry out exactly. He is the leader type
that the followers love.

He can give other people advice and solve problems for other people well,
except his own mess. He can be easily hurt by other peo ple especially if you
do not trust or respect his ability. You could compliment him sometimes and
make this lion be your kitty with no difficulty. He is not a good judge for
he listen to many people and tend to belief all sides.

You can hardly see a Leo man with no woman by his side. If you see him
alone, he could already have a love one in his heart, or just broken up with
one. Because he is very proud, he can change many girl friends. He will do
many things for the woman he loves, but loosing his face is not one of them.
Leo man can not live without love , because for him Love is a ray of Light.

He likes people to rely on him, it's make him feels "in power". He may
complaint if he is asked for favor, but deep inside he is happy that you
asked him. If you offer to help him , he will refuse you right away.

When he is broke , he can find money still. He is not careful with his way
of spending for he has fun with spendin g money and happy to buy what he
likes. He lets other people borrow money from him easily even if he has no
money, he will run to his friend to borrow money for you. He likes first
class , first quality of everything.

He can work hard like a mad dog, and sometimes can be lazy like a lazy
sleepy cat. When he works, he is very serious. When he parties, he can be a
party animal. If he ask you out, you will sure have a fun and jolly time.

He will take chance with his love life, so if you know how to handle him,
you will win. If he is your love one, it won't be a romance novel. You have
to be ready to calm him down when he over reacts to small matters because
your cool stability will control and ease his mood. If you can not handle or
understand him, your relationship will be like a demolition zone, a on and
off relationship till all your friends tired to hear about your breaking up
and making up.

Beauty is always in the ey es of the lion. You have to be dignify to walk
with the lion king. Your looks is part of his image and ego and he is very
proud about it too. If you want his attention the first time you meet, you
better be astounding attractive. If you have a first conversation with him,
you have to show him how much you adore his thinking. He likes to talk and
not knowing that he likes to talk about himself.
haha... can click this link at
The Link is here

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Long Long time

Its been a long long long super long time dat i didn update this blog le. Hmm when did i last update this blog? haha forgot le wor.

Life have been as usual. Haven been contacting my old frendz quite often. As for sch, ok ok de la, nth much, damn sian, project here project there.

Lately im kinda into fitness( not really, nvr touch gym cos no one accompany me XD), haha but once im into dat, pimples OUTBREAK! OMG! dunno wad to do sia.

Chinese New Year is coming! Todae is already the eve. SO BUSY! Doing summer-cleaning in my room, ironing of clothes. Haha lucky last few weeks bought the clothes le! Preparing for the 红包 collection tml. Wee! happi happi!

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Lastly, somehow, its really very difficult to control ur feelin, especially the one u liked for quite a while........